SWF ISO John Cusack?

Dating is hard. Not only because of the delicate tango moves that comprise dating in it of itself but also because finding a partner to dance the first dance with is exhausting. Once you have a partner, the rest falls into place. Your place, his place, a public place or no place because you realize that you have nothing in common. But before you get to go to or through all those places you need to find a date. Or in my case a man.
This train of thought began to make a home in my mind about a week ago as I sat in Starbucks drinking my sorrows away in a grande, no vanilla, hot chocolate, extra whip please. As I tried to come to grips with my last single friends looming marriage I turned my warm cup around in my hands to see what words of wisdom Starbucks had printed on it's 10% post recycled consumer waste paper coffee cup this week. I can't quote exactly what was written but the jist of it entailed believing in yourself, despite others telling you that you are not good enough. The part that struck me right in the breast plate was the phrase, "Ask anyone out!". "Right On!" was my initial mental response. Followed shortly by, "Really? Anyone?" I mean this "As I See It" quote was really telling me to believe in myself so much that I dare to have the confidence to ask anyone out and stare down possible rejection in the face. It was telling me to believe that I am good enough for absolutely anyone. And the truth is the wisdom is right. I am good enough for anyone. But is anyone good enough for me?
A few days later I found myself talking to a friend about our "laminated lists". You know those lists of secret crushes that we never admit to having. The list of, in my case, men that I would date in a heartbeat if only they would appear and ask me out. As my friend and I examined our lists she noted that John Cusack had been on my list for about the last 19 years. She laughed and said, "My god, are you still in lust with Cusack?"
"Yes, alright. He's fantastic," and I quickly launched into the many accolades of John Cusack and why he, to this day, remains number one on my list.
As I am recapping my long love affair with John to my friend, the Starbucks message from a few days before begins to play in the background of my mind, like the subtle, eerie music of a dramatic film. And it is then, in that moment, that I decide to end my 19 year love affair with John.
"What if I ask John Cusack out?", I ask my friend.
After her laughter abates enough for her to breathe and talk at the same time she says, "You're nuts. I mean you're really nuts. For starters, John doesn't know you exist and two, how would you go about finding him?"
"I don't know", I say, "Maybe I can call him? Do you think I can dial 411 and ask for John Cusack?"
My friend just gives me a sad look.
"Kidding, I was just kidding. Seriously though, why not? My Starbucks coffee cup said I should ask anyone out and that is precisely what I aim to do. John Cusack is just a man. So he happens to make films for a living. I happen to be a park ranger and it is only society that seems to deem one more glamorous, more untouchable than the other. John has dated many beautiful women, but they all have one thing in common. They were all famous and actresses/models. And since he is still single, I wager to say that dating that type of woman hasn't worked out so well for John. Maybe what he really needs is a beautiful, intelligent, ordinary park ranger that likes to get dirty in the outdoors. Maybe what John needs is ME?"
My friend just sighs, but she knows that I mean business.
"OK", she says, "How are we going to do this? It's not like you can just call him up?"
"I know. And the truth is I don't know how to ask John Cusack out. I can't call him as I'm sure he has a posse of people that screen for psychos and stalkers and I'm sure they will think I am one of them. I can't exactly write him a letter as I'm sure his "fan mail" is read and screened too. I doubt he has a public email address and I don't think I can poke him on Facebook."
"Well, my friend says, I'm sure you can poke him but I'm not sure you want Facebook to know about it."
I laugh at that as we continue to brainstorm.
What we came up with is this. A "Desperately Seeking Susan" type personal slash I SAW YOU ad for John Cusack to be posted on my blog site, my face book account and ultimately circulating around the world wide web until somehow, someone who works for or knows John will have him read this ad and my blogsite. So here goes and please feel free to cut and paste and send to friends to forward until John sees it:

SWF ISO John Cusack
Attractive, funny, articulate and witty female wants to take you, John Cusack, out on the funniest date of your life. We'll feed animals at the zoo, jump in the aquarium tank, play bocci ball with old men and ride the ferris wheel till we die of laughter. Anything is up for grabs. Is this crazy? Yes but every remarkable event begins with a crazy idea and ends with a courageous lunatic! And I'm just daring enough to stare down my inner critic and societial rationality and ask you John Cusack if you'd like to go out on a date with an extra-ordinary park ranger type girl that usually has dirt under her nails, travels the world, writes and tell amazing stories and is just funny as heck. If this finds its way to you John, you'll know how to find me. I'm the third house from the end in case your GPS unit quits out on the way to Rainier. Hope to see you. Annie